Hot Tubs Change Everything

This episode has some Barbie-like "nudity." Because this house is full of horndogs.

We start this one with Tomas and Eli chatting about how politics are nothing but MONEY!

And babies...

And golden... jellyfish?

Which apparently revs Eli's engine something fierce because he and Blair get to cuddling.

And making out...

And other things...

"Sweetie, you need a comb..."

"I'm going to be DAVINCI!!"

See? This is Tomas' nicest painting to date. Unfortunately, I read his painting opportunity wrong so I jumped the gun a little bit... more on that later.
Todd and Blair argue about flies. Perhaps Blair calls him a horse's ass and he insists that there are no flies on him...

"I feel humiliated!"

"Sorry baby... when I said flies, I actually meant that you were a beautiful butterfly."

Good enough!

Oh, those crazy kids.

Romantic shenanigans aside, it's time for these four to earn some more money. Todd goes to work on his latest case.


Blair styles the fashion challenged.

Eli works on his charisma.

Tomas decides to go to France and takes Blair with him. Here's the thing, he had an opportunity to take a painting to France and sell it... except it had to be more than $750 rather than $350 so this just wound up being a trip for no real reason.

I need to pay more attention to the details.

Ah... La Belle France!

Tomas gets the lay of the land while Blair stayed at Base Camp and read.

Then I sent him into the tombs to search for treasure and stuff. Whee!

He got some pretty decent loot when it came down to it.


To celebrate, he and Blair ate frog legs at a sidewalk cafe. Mais oui... La Belle France!

Tomas met Maurice Chevalier at a museum!

And he and Blair made with the kissing at a "nectary." Yes... the game won't say wine. It's nectar. But we know what it really is, don't we?

Upon returning home, Blair finds Eli playing that damn game of course. "How is it, I went to France with Tomas and we didn't get it on once?"

"Let me share with you the French love song of fish!"

Todd wins Bed Lottery that night.

And stakes out the local fishery the next morning.

This looks like some sort of restaurant scam in the making. Get 'em Todd!

Tomas begins his latest work. I like to think that his trip to France was inspiring!

Someone in the house wanted a hot tub. At this point, it doesn't even matter who (probably Todd) because once it was installed everyone fell in wild, unabandoned lust with it.

Blair took about two seconds to decide to skinny dip.

Eli decided to do the same.

And since they were both naked in hot bubbling water, they let nature take it's course.

Bubbly love!

Todd came upon them afterglowing and decided to steal their clothes.

And then joined them!! What?! He's like all casual and they barely even notice. And I'm beginning to feel uncomfortable and nervous about what might happen next.

Thankfully, they all decide to go do other things for a bit...

This is Blair realizing her clothes are missing. As you can see, she is rather put out.

I actually do appreciate the fact that skinny dippers do not walk around naked after their clothes are stolen. However, they are stuck in the towels until they either shower or go to the dresser.

And I must point out that the Cramer Harem, at this moment, does not own a dresser.

Blair clearly doesn't hold Todd's clothes stealing against him.

"No more unicorns for you, honey. You've been de-virginized!"

Todd was the last of the men Blair needed to woo-hoo with. Now she's got them all in her stylish clutches!

I have to say that I am not the least bit surprised that Eli talks to himself in the mirror half-naked in a towel. I could swear this actually happened on the show.

Todd puts his post-coital buzz to good use by snooping around the salon for clues to his latest case.

Blair researches PANTS!

And SHIRTS!

For God's sake, you two, put some clothes on already...

Eli may never wear clothes again at this rate...

At least Todd hasn't been bitten by the Naked Bug yet.

Yet...

In fact, I take the opportunity to put him in his formal wear for a bit, just to mix things up. Blair is clearly painting a stylized portrait of him in the background. Hotter than lava!

Unmoved by the scorching figure Todd cuts in his duds, Tomas paints a blowfish. And then...

Et tu, Tomas? Maybe he was more inspired by Todd in his formal get-up than I thought.

And there goes Blair again...

And Eli...

Uh oh...

The Hot Tub of Love strikes again!

WHAT IN THE HELL?!

And my game suddenly turns into Real World! At least Blair had the decency to wait for Eli to leave before shooting across the tub to go after Todd.

I'm beginning to wonder what's in that water.

This is Blair's "Wanna do it?" face.

And this is Todd's "HELL YEAH!" face.

I really hope they clean this tub regularly.

It's kinda hard to be too upset when they look so cute and happy afterwards.

I thank God that Tomas found the joys of the bookshelf and missed all of the hot tub shenanigans. Seriously, if this game did three ways, it would have happened in that hot tub. I'm actually hoping that Tomas is reading up on how to sterilize the damn thing.

Everyone takes a rest... Blair, in particular, could use a good night's sleep. She was BIZAY!

Until next time!