Things Go Awry

We start the day with Tomas and Blair painting side by side on matching easels.

(click to embiggen, if you so desire)

It's a nice idea, especially since Blair's artistic, too and Tomas is always painting so a spare is useful. However, now that Blair's a stylist she needs to research fashion and that requires a drafting table so this scene is a pleasant diversion until that happens.

Eli then asks Blair out to the park so they hop into a cab and away they go!


Across the street from the park at City Hall there seems to be a demonstration going on. Everyone's yelling and holding up signs depicting yetis. For some reason, I'm thinking they're protesting Todd's habit of sneaking up behind people and doing a yet impersonation to frighten them.

They are really angry.

But it doesn't effect Blair and Eli who are canoodling away and getting flirty. Apparently, city parks and anti-yeti demonstrations put them in the mood. We're judging... just a bit.


Eli goes in for the smooch!


Love is in the air... again! Now Blair's got two men definitely in her thrall.

Tomas finishes his painting... which appears to be a nighttime camping scene. How rustic!



Meanwhile, Todd's doing his investigation gig. He's discovered the joys of stakeouts which involve pulling shrubbery out of his pants to hide behind.


This mid-century style house with the pink sports car proved a promising location in which to "hide."


As you can see, he's blending right into the sidewalk. I mean, that girl is totally NOT looking directly at him or anything wondering how two quivering shrubs grew by her sidewalk in an hour... with feet.

"Oh, that's clearly normal. I think I'll partake in a suspicious looking pay off right here in the open."


Stakeouts are rough on the bladder, it seeems.


After smooching Eli a bit, Blair left him in the park and went home to trade in her easel for a drafting table and worked on fashion ideas until she was ready to drop.


And starve.


Apparently, she's designing for the over-70 Boca Raton crowd. Well, one has to find a niche somewhere.

The bed situation tonight is Tomas/Todd.


And Blair/Eli... who are cuddling now that they're in love.


In the morning, Todd goes to cook on the firetrap of a stove. (Pancakes!)


And Tomas starts a new painting.


Blair cleans up the bathroom (as the clunker of a toilet they've got has overflowed again.) She's either thinking of Todd as her next conquest or the culprit of the gigantic puddle she's cleaning up.


Then a bad omen takes place... first Eli and Blair try to get it on but could not seal the deal. (Yes, that heart symbol with the google eyes is the international Sim symbol for 'Wanna do it?') Blair totally rejects him with a stilleto heel in the thigh.


And goes to sleep chastely with Todd. She dreams of barbells. He dreams of silverware.


Tomas tries his luck with the stove that should be recalled. You'd think he'd be more uncertain. After all, he caught fire the last time the stove blew up. (This may be why Eli has barely even approached the stove since.)


And then things start to break. The kitchen sink...


The bathroom sink...

And yes, the toilet's still backed up, too.

The prefect atmosphere to start flirting, right Blair?

Tomas comes in from the other room to glare at Todd and Blair while simultaneously hating the life out of that rotten toilet.


Then he gets sick. I love the note up in the corner. "Tomas is having a bad day..." No shit! Half of the appliances break and then his girlfriend starts hitting on his housemate in the bathroom amongst broken sinks, puddles and a toilet that should be a science experiment!


Frugal Elijah, meanwhile, clips coupons.

I think he means to save up for better appliances. At the rate things are going, they're either going to have to buy some new ones or just hire a full-time repairman.


Todd continues his stellar work of rifling through mail and digging through garbage.




And Tomas channels his pain into a light-hearted painting of frolicking children.


And the romantic tensions in the house wreak havoc on the relationships. Elijah wants to be friends with Tomas again so they talk politics and job promotions while Blair toils in the background.


Yay! Friends again!


Blair continues her work as a stylist.


And manages to give the worst makeover in the history of man... apparently because she's dead inside. (Seriously. Look at her!) "No one shall ever look as beautiful as me! I will make certain of it!"


Todd stakes out another one of the thousands of parks that Riverview has to offer. In the middle of the day.


And manages to draw a crowd while doing so. Stealthy!



It's amazing no one trips over him.


After that bizarre stake-out (successful by the way) Todd goes home and tries to make some more pancakes. Unfortunately, the stove decides to explode again.

The irony is that the repairman (woman) is one of the people who stands there and freaks out. Blair is still at the salon so she can't save the day. But the fireman comes, finally...

As the kitchen is engulfed in flames. The repairwoman. Tomas AND Eli are all on fire. The fireman should be but they are magically fireproof. I'm thinking the Riverview Fire Department has purposely rigged the cheap stoves in order to engulf people in flames while they watch unscathed.


Blair returns home and grabs the fire extinguisher. But alas...

Death comes to the Cramer Harem!!

The repairwoman AND Tomas have succumbed to the flames of Death Stove: The Stove That Burns People.


Tomas takes a quick look around as a scorching hot ghost before leaping into his urn.


Blair is heartbroken in the shower. Todd is horrified and angry. Eli is scorched but alive (barely) and then...

Death starts chatting with Eli about money-saving tips.

This is bizarre enough to be a dream sequence.

Ready?

RESET!!